My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
