New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
