that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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