I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
