We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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