You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Sorry my hands just texted you
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
