I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
