I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is my gift to your gina
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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