Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We left an ass print on the piano.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
