I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
