Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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