just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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