Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
