Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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