What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
