It's like God shit irony all over that family
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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