Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize