is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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