Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
