thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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