Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
