I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize