Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
