ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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