At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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