3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
