carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
high people should be assigned attendants
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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