Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
