she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
