the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
