i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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