My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
