Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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