plz talk dirty to me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
