Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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