Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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