bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I supernannyed him into submission
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize