I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
