took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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