We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
