sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
