Dude my mom stole all your condoms
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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