just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
