Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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