got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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