its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
