This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
cat food counts as protein by the way
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
