Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
