Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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