I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
