it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
