My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
