You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm always down for nudity.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
