And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
