He disabled his match.com account in front of me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
