He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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