You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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