Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize