Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
